Comrades
by The Sheep's Dream
Summary: It's more than sad losing comrades, especially when you're the one who's expected to lead them to victory. Takes place during Phantasy Star Online Episode I and/or II.


Disclaimer: I own not Phantasy Star Online Episode I or II.

Note: Takes place during Phantasy Star Online Episode I and/or II. Some things were altered a bit, and the characters mentioned here other than the Quest Shop Manager, are my own. I haven't played the game in a while, nor have I written for a long time. If something irks you about this story, I wouldn't know unless you tell me. Criticize when you feel the need to, I aim to improve.

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**Comrades**

_by The Sheep's Dream  
_

Forest took a long look at the three set of graves before turning around and warping out of the freshly made grave site that was a battle ground only hours before. She clutched desperately at the clothing around her heart as she moved unwillingly to the quest counter in Pioneer 2. Choking on the lump in her throat, she waited for a group of hunters ahead of her to happily report in their success to the Quest Manager. And she felt the fragile dam in her eyes almost shattered when they all laughed merrily together, as if all the world was all perfect.

Well damn, it wasn't. It was a cruel and unjust world. She had just lost her dearest companions and she felt a twinge of anger at those who stands before her.

Why are they celebrating?

What is with the laughter?

And probably, she had let that anger and pain shown on her face, as the group immediately froze when they caught a glimpse of her. The room grew cold as they all stood silently, as if waiting for a huge dark wave to pass. It did, and it washed away the small dam that Forest had built to control her tears when she dug at the dirt that were to be the final resting place for her dear companions. The tears gushed out of her eyes like that broken dam, and the group in front of her showed sympathy.

Even Forest's battle harden hand wasn't strong enough to stop the wetness from spreading beyond her eyes. The group that was celebrating a moment ago gravely walk past her, their head hung. And each of them gave her shoulder a pat, as if hoping to relieve some of that stress from the woman who had now seen it all. They had all been on the battle field, and they all known of the consequences. Of the _unhappy _ends.

It's just that knowing and experiencing it were two very different things.

Her comrades were fighting bravely, even to the last moment, and Forest herself wondered why she had been the only one to survive. It was true that she had been on the battlefield the longest, but their skills were almost on equal grounds. After all, Forest taught them everything she knows about fighting itself.

Was it because of the situation. Because of their distance from the attacks?

No. That can't be it.

She was one of the two front liners, their healer and back up hunter were right behind them about twenty feet back, receiving not even one tenth of what the front liner's damages were. And even then, they all were constantly healed with the Resta from the Force.

So why?

She also remembers how the battle field was when the fatal move was made. The monster had been on the verge of death and she was going in for the final fatal blow to its heart. As her blade was cutting through the rough scaly flesh of the monster, it let out a sort of ominous gas into the air.

A very poisonous gas.

If that was their fatal blow then, what about Forest herself? She was the closest one to the source, the one with the most exposure. Then why? Why have she not fall along with them? It would have been so much better than to feel the pain of their deaths. The feeling of being left behind.

A feeling of them moving to a peaceful rest, while she hand to stay back in the struggle to build a new world. And not only that, she was now carrying their loads.

Then perhaps, it must have been that she was also choking on the blood of the monster when the gas burst out of the demon's innards. Perhaps it was also that her mag immediately healed and cleansed her body of the choking liquid, therefore getting rid of the gas. Yes, it must be that. Her loyal mag always took cared of her, because what else could it be when she turned around to see all three of her companions on the ground, lifeless. Their face forever frozen with the fear of the unknown blow, their eyes looking beyond everything, including the crying leader calling for her comrades.

_Calling..._

And no answer.

**Never **again.

Even the Moon Atomizers were dead useless, no matter how many she used. Their souls that were supposed to be floating a little ways from their dead corpse seemed to have disappeared to the great beyond. Was it that the gas also disintegrated their very souls? Was it a type of gas that devours anything living?

By this time, the Quest Manager was out from her counter, and right in front of Forest with a look of sympathy that seemed to be used a lot, repeated more than a hundred times.

_Hundreds _of times...

**Thousands of deaths.**

The Manager said something about needing to talk with therapists. And from how the Manager sounded, Forest thought that there must have been many before her that must've came here, just like this: fresh with the feeling of loosing comrades, failure of protecting even your closest allies. And this fueled that almost diminished flare of anger from before, because an almost inaudible sound came from Forest's throat.

The Quest Manager looked shocked and confused, clearly not catching what Forest said, and she asked for the statement to repeated.

"Party Leader: Forest... Section ID: Oran... Reporting in..." Forest gasped in between sobs, as she tried desperately to calm down long enough to report her progress. Now, she really just want to return to her Hunter Quarters. To mourn alone in peace, drown in self sympathy alone in the dark corners of her room, without having to give effort into anything else such as talking.

There was a long pause before the Quest Manager rushed behind the counter again, typing furiously into the computer, to try and find the quest data. Another pause in the room before the Manager looked at Forest and asked in a voice that shows she is back to business, the feeling of sympathy driven away by her duty to her job, " Your results?"

_Results_.

"Target..." Forest fought to speak, as images of her companions before the battle. It seemed that they all knew the risks, but it never crossed their minds that death would claim them this time. They trusted their leader, Forest, so much to lead them to victory and safety. And Forest felt guilt burning in her very being with the knowledge that she had failed miserably, " ...target eliminated." The quest rewarded Forest with everything opposite of what it should have.

A few more minutes of Quest Manager recording the data and Forest handing in the required monster scale that she had ripped off angrily the thing that had took her friends away, the whole mission was done with. Though there were occasional hiccups leftover from Forest's earlier sobbing, no more tears leaked out.

The sound of automated doors opened and footsteps of about a group of four rushed in. Their merry voices over the success of their latest mission reached Forest's ears, just like before. She felt another pang of pain as it feels like she was the only one curse this unlucky day.

When she turned around to leave the wretched place, the Quest Manager stopped her immediately. "Forest! There has been a request that you train some of the new hunters..." Without even turning around, Forest continued out the door. As she passed the cheery group of hunters, she could tell that they must have certainly had a huge success without even sparing them a glance.

But before she stepped out of the room, into the main city, an image of her companions flashed into her mind. They had been her students at one time, then they had became very close friends, and then reliable comrades. And a sense of longing filled her; the need to be around company, along with the ever growing pain of loss.

A memory of a dinner party a couple of days ago surfaced. It was set up by the three of her companions as a thanks for everything she had taught them, everything she had shown them, so that they could be everything they were that day. They had said that with any other teacher, they might have not turned out so well. And in their little singsong voice that probably annoyed the other guests, they sang how wonderful a teacher Forest was.

Forest stopped by the doorway and thoughts began to pierce her mind.

_What was she doing?_

If she just ignore new Hunters who wanted to learn from her, they would just go to another teacher. Knowing the shortage of experienced teachers now-a-days due to death rates, the new students would have a high chance of not learning how to survive properly. And even if they were warned, told to quit while they still have their heartbeats, they wouldn't just quit. No, ignoring them would not protect anyone in any way. It was best for them to learn as much as they can before going out into the battlefield from someone _experienced_, or it'll just be more lives just wasting away.

She knew the loss of comrades is painful, so is the loss of friends. But the memory of them and their happy faces when taught well enough to do things on their own, to survive on their own, became was something Forest liked. Even if Forest's teaching isn't perfect, she know well enough that her 'hands-on in the front line' instructions were far better than the emotionless voices through the radio.

Her comrades, too, had agreed with her.

And Forest new as well that _everyone _went into the battlefield with the knowledge of what can happen, even her partners themselves. Drowning in her self-pity would do nothing for Pioneer 2 nor her lost comrades.

They would be angry at her for it as well.

Her previous comrades had fought for Pioneer 2, Forest is fighting for Pioneer 2, and these new students would be fighting for Pioneer 2 in the future. If one falls, another rise to take up that burden and fight more. It'll keep going on till everyone is eliminated.

She felt she could do something. That she should do something. That she **had **to.

Yes, that is what Forest felt she needed to do.

Again clutching the clothes nearest her heart, Forest turned around and shouted, "Tell them to meet me outside the shops 5am sharp tomorrow!"

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Thank you for reading. Let us all improve.


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